Over the years wedding traditions have evolved. Couples have combined cultural customs, opted for contemporary ceremonies, and even created their own. While each holds its own merit, I believe it’s important to look back over the weddings that have taken place in each family and ensure that old family traditions aren’t quickly dismissed. I have found over time that although the bride and groom may not understand the importance of the tradition in the beginning, they eventually become grateful for incorporating a piece of family history. After all, it’s the recurring nature of traditions that makes them so important.
Although the wedding should be focused on the desires of the bride and groom, couples should also stop to think about the wishes of their family members. The true beauty of a wedding is the time spent with loved ones to celebrate the joining of two families. Sometimes it can be difficult pleasing everyone and it’s important to remain objective. Incorporating the customs of two families, mothers, grandparents and girlfriends can be tough. I try to cross-reference and select options that sometimes are important to mothers but not the brides. I like to combine their paths so that everyone can be happy with at least one aspect of the ceremony. I look back 15 years to my own wedding and I realize that there were things that my mother incorporated into my wedding that I didn’t care about at the time, but now I’m so grateful that she did. As a wedding coordinator, I try to pull those key elements to please the bride but also have moments that she will remember the rest of her life.
One of my favorite wedding customs is the exchange of gifts the morning of. It’s not something that every couple does, but it’s a special moment for the ones who choose to incorporate this event into their day. Some couples choose to exchange special gifts or write one another letters. Though giving each other trinkets is a beautiful thing, I love being able to capture their emotions while they read the words from their partner. These letters are usually written the night before the wedding, after the couple has separated for the night. Both the bride and groom write about their feelings of joy and anxiousness. I’ll admit that I love that these letters bring out the sappier side the grooms and preserving those moments in a letter and by photographing them is truly magical.
Along with the long-established letter or gift exchange, throughout my years as a wedding planner, I’ve also become quite fond of several modern traditions such as “first look” photos. Though many couples believe in waiting to see one another before the wedding, I love looking back at the photos that can be captured before the ceremony. The emotions that are forever preserved in “first look” photos are breathtaking. Being able to experience that moment privately before the ceremony makes it even more special. Over time, I’ve spoken with couples and they still recall the anticipation of waiting for the bride to come down the aisle even after seeing her shortly before the ceremony. I think that even if you see each other it doesn’t ruin that anticipation because you’re still anxious about getting married and that’s the real excitement. When the doors open and the bride comes in, I don’t believe that special moment is as lost as some people might think it would be.
Last Spring I planned a wedding at Palmetto Bluff and the couple decided at the last minute that they wanted to have a “first look” photos taken. Zach and Bridges decided while at their rehearsal dinner that they wanted to share a special moment before they met at the alter. “It wasn’t something we had planned on, but when I realized I was getting nervous about seeing Zach for the first time and getting emotional when I walked down the aisle I knew it was something I wanted to share with Zach”, said Bridges. It was that evening that I arranged a private moment for the couple an hour before the ceremony. “I loved spending time together before the ceremony to soak in what was about to happen, and to talk about how happy and excited we both were. It didn’t take away from the moment of walking down the aisle at all. If anything, I think it helped both of us be present and enjoy the moment even more,” said Bridges.
The addition of “first look” photos also saves valuable photography time. Couples are now able to join the cocktail hour prior to dinner and visit with their guests as newlyweds. My greatest piece of advice is to remind couples to stop, look around, and take it all in. The evening goes by so quickly, that it’s over all of sudden. If you are too wrapped up in trying to visit every guest you can forget to look around and let your mind capture everything that you spent so much effort planning. By having this extra time at cocktail hour, I think it gives the bride and groom more time to relax at the reception and enjoy their time together.
When I look back at all of the weddings I have helped coordinate and the memories that I have been a part of, the most memorable part of every wedding is the people that were gathered together to celebrate with one another. It’s the family and friends, the energy, and the moments where time stood still that were important and made them memorable. So, when you are considering whether to incorporate a tradition or not, consider how you will feel in the moment and how you will look back and remember it for the rest of your lives together.